Jacob was sent by Isaac to Rebekah’s brother to find a wife, and also to spare Jacob’s life from Esau (Genesis 28:1-2; 29:1). The first woman Jacob saw was Rachel, Laban’s youngest daughter, “And Jacob kissed Rachel…and wept” (Genesis 29:11).

As Laban learned why Jacob had come, he asked Jacob what would be his wages. Jacob replied he would work for Laban seven years to have Rachel as his wife. Laban accepted the terms. But when it came time to pay Jacob, Laban pulled a switch on Jacob. Laban gave Leah, his firstborn daughter, to Jacob – instead of Rachel. Jacob then agreed to serve Laban another seven years for Rachel.

Leah was hated by Jacob, and God saw this (Genesis 29:31). God in turn blessed Leah with six sons and one daughter, while Rachel remained barren (Genesis 30:1). Rachel was a woman of the flesh, as was revealed when she stole her father’s images (Genesis 31:19, 32, 34-35). Rachel later did have two sons by Jacob (Joseph and Benjamin); but she died giving birth to Benjamin (Genesis 35:16-19).

The Apostle Paul is very plain in 1 Timothy 2:15:

“Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”

Nevertheless, Jacob loved Rachel, but hated Leah. What was the reason? It appears that Jacob was looking on the outward appearance of Rachel, “Rachel was beautiful and well favoured” (Genesis 29:17). In outward appearance, Rachel was the pretty one, and not Leah.

Men who walk in the flesh note outward beauty before inward beauty. Is this not still the case of many of God’s men today? The answer is undeniably, yes. This is manifested by the number of marriages among so-called Christians, in which they are either miserable; or even end in divorce.

Beauty is a product of the flesh’s standard. The flesh has set up what is beautiful and what is not beautiful. It was so in Jacob’s day; and it is even today; whether it be in the deepest, most remote tribes in Africa or South America, or in New York City, New York.

The advertising moguls of social media have prejudiced most men of the 20th and 21st Centuries by their standard of beauty. Hollywood spends millions taking their leading ladies and ‘fixing’ them to the world’s (or the flesh’s) standard of what is “beautiful and well favoured.” They use make-up, wigs, diets, face lifts, other lifts, Botox therapy, etc.

Many of God’s men have set their goals of happiness on finding a woman that looks like one of the stars of Hollywood; deceiving themselves that this will bring happiness to their marriage.

However, the Bible says that man looks on the outward man, but God sees the inward man:

“But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

But the problem is not the woman’s beauty; no matter what standard is used to determine outward beauty.

The problem is the man’s heart toward God. When a man desires to please God, he will look to God for wisdom and guidance in choosing a wife. It is not what the man thinks; but it is what God has created, invested in, and purposed, for the saved man’s good and for his service in the Kingdom’s work.

A saved man must consider God in the choosing of his life-long mate, to be successful and prosperous, first in pleasing God and serving God; and then in being a complete unit, bearing testimony in his marriage of Christ and His Bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:32).

There must be agreement (Amos 3:3); and there must be fellowship (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). Therefore, both the man and the woman must first be Regenerated by God the Spirit to be one “in Christ.” This is the foundation for success in marriage; that is, to be one “in Christ.”

When a man chooses a woman to be his wife, and she is an idol worshipper and not a God worshipper; then there is “death in the pot” (2 Kings 4:40) and there are “Dead flies” that “cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour” (Ecclesiastes 10:1). There can be no union, no communion, between light and darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14). And Proverbs says:

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

Therefore, the first step for a saved man to find a wife is to seek God to lead him to a woman of faith; one who fears God; one who is a woman of understanding and wisdom and knowledge (Proverbs 1:7; 8:13; 9:10; 14:26, 27). One who is “in Christ.”

If the woman whom God has created and prepared and sent to him, be judged beautiful and well favoured by the world, so be it. But what matters is if she is “in Christ,” and then she will be beautiful in her spirit.

The love that Jacob had for Rachel (notice the Scriptures never say that Rachel loved Jacob) was based on her outward beauty. And there was no success in their marriage, which finally ended in Rachel’s death in bearing Benjamin.

Saved man, take heed to this lesson revealed in Jacob’s love for Rachel. Rachel was an idol worshipper, not a God lover. She was a liar; and she was bitter with God for being barren.

Remember, outward beauty is vain. It perishes with time. But the inward beauty of the indwelling Christ grows daily; it is renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16b).

Yes, Rachel did bear Joseph, who was Jacob’s favorite son and heir of the Covenant of God. But it was because of the Eternal Purpose of God in Christ, and not because of who Rachel was. However it was Leah, and not Rachel, who God used to bear Judah, the ancestor of Jesus Christ.

Young men, do not marry for outward beauty alone; and be not deceived by outward beauty; for without Christ, it is “death in the pot.”