The answer to our question is found in several parts. The Attitude is the Love of God. The Action is first a leaving and cleaving, and then submission and love toward the husband and wife. Now the Adornment or Attire is first good works by the wife (1 Timothy 2:9-10); then second, the husband is to dwell with the wife “…according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life…” (1 Peter 3:7). And third, “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8).
First, note the wife’s attire or adornment: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works” (1 Timothy 2:9-10).The outward attire is “modest apparel” and the inward attire is:
“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Then Peter continues ;
“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” (1 Peter 3:5-6)
He gives us women in the Old Testament who trusted in God; even Sarah, who obeyed Abraham. Notice inward subjection issued in an outward statement, “calling him lord.” She not only said it, but did it. She “obeyed.”
Second, the husband’s attire is wisdom, honor, and understanding that they are one in Christ; heirs of the same inheritance; not male or female, but one in Christ (Galatians 3:27-29). When the husband realizes he is typing out Christ, then he will lay his life down for his wife. He will nourish her and cherish her. He will lead her in the wisdom of God’s Word (Christ). He will honor her (love, respect, consider, and admire). He will love her as he loves his own flesh.
Thirdly, the husband and the wife are brother and sister in Christ; and as such, they are to “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8):
- Be of one mind (be in agreement);
- Have compassion one of another;
- Love as brethren, in Christ;
- Be pitiful (be sympathetic); and
- Be courteous.
What constitutes a Godly marriage? Not the place, but the Attitude, the Actions and the Attire in the Love of God.