“Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.” (Song of Solomon 1:4)
This is the second segment of our look at the love expressed in Song of Solomon. Solomon called this book “Song of Songs”; and he speaks of a king and his bride using earthly words. But the truth of these words is found in their spiritual significance, in the spiritual truth of Christ (the King) and the Church (His Bride). So, as we speak of the physical, it is all based on the spiritual. Our first segment looked at the bride’s first request, “Kiss me…” Now we look at her second request, “Draw me…”
In the physical sense, the woman makes this statement, “the king hath brought me into his chambers.” This episode began with the kisses of his mouth, which now have led them to the inner chamber, even the bedroom. This is indicative of the act of consummation, of which kisses are agreeably the first step. However, there must be a second step. She says, “Draw me.” The drawing process by the king to his bride brings them closer to the act of consummation.
As all that have a Godly marriage know, consummation is only the mountain peak of the climb. But there are so many things involved in reaching the mountain peak in total unity. “Draw me” speaks of the man’s role in the entire process to reach the mountain peak.
First, there must be an attraction between the two partners. There must be a desire to become one. In this case, it speaks from the woman’s viewpoint. There are reasons for her desire to be drawn to his bed to experience all that God designed in the consummation process.
This desire coming from the woman includes her view as to who her man is. She sees him as no other; she sees him as God’s gift to her. She sees him as a way to give her entire being to him according to God’s instructions and thus be a recipient of God’s reward for so doing. She sees his inner man; she sees his spirit. She also recognizes his position, and so as to share in this position; she sees his ability to provide for her and protect her as she hides in his shadow.
This desire also includes her view of his physical attributes. She sees him as a man and is attracted to his physical form. However, this will fade with age and is overshadowed by his inner qualities. Between two saved people, the inner qualities a woman sees in a man are far ahead of physical appearance. But his physical attributes do play a part in her desire for him.
When a woman speaks this to a man, it is not only in her inner person (which speaks desire in her for him); but it reveals audibly her inner desire for his love. She makes this plain with actual words from her mouth.
This desire to be drawn is not only evidenced by an inner desire that results in confession of this desire by her words, but also her body language says the same. It is in her eyes, her touch. It is in the way she comes up close to him, in the way she walks in front of him. All of these body movements put off certain vibrations that the man picks up in his spirit and body.
When she says, “Draw me,” she is saying, “I need you. I desire you. I am attracted to you. I want to be one with you.”
And she is also saying, “I will do…” Here we find the four R’s:
The first “R” is, “we will run after thee.” Not to chase you down, or try to catch you. But I will walk as “hinds” feet. I will track your steps. I will follow your leadership. I will submit to your headship. I will resemble you. I will be diligent (I will run, not walk) in following you and your leadership.
The second “R” is, “we will be glad and rejoice in thee.” My spirit will not be a complaining spirit; but a rejoicing spirit, a spirit full of enjoyment, satisfaction, completeness, and praise. My rejoicing will be “in thee”; not in myself, but “in thee.” That is, in all that God has made you in body, soul, and spirit – just for me. I will rejoice to know that I wear your name; that I am heir to all that you are. My name (which is your name) means my name is on the deed; what is yours is mine. I know that my provision, protection, power, and peace are lodged in who God made you. My spirit rejoices in you and in you alone; and not in another.
The third “R” is, “we will remember thy love more than wine.” Wine affects the body, soul, and spirit for only a brief period of time; and too much wine is destructive. But thy love’s effect on me is forever; there is no defeat in your love, only victory. I remember all the days of love in the past; which makes the present what it is, and forecasts the future for what it can be. When the past is good, your memory magnifies the past experiences. So it is with the memory of two children of God, a male and female, joined in marriage by God. Each experience of love is a building block for the next experience to build upon.
The final “R” is, “the upright love thee” or literally, we will love thee uprightly. That is, “Draw me” and I will love thee up-rightly; which is faithfully, forever, and pleasing in your sight as to my attitude, actions, and attire. I will submit to your word and obey your word and endure in your word. I will not hide anything from you; for I will be honest, open, and upright in all of my thoughts and deeds toward you. I will be single-eyed and walk in righteousness, both in your presence and in your absence.
Secondly, in the phrase “Draw me,” is not only the woman’s desire for her lover, her husband; but it also includes the husband’s desire for the woman; it is the same as the woman’s desire. If he does not desire her, no matter what her plea is, he will not draw her. (Reread the woman’s viewpoint as far as her desire.)
The man must also perform his responsibility as the head to draw his woman, his wife, to him. He must do, not just think or talk about it; but he must draw her. He must draw her with “bands of love” (Hosea 11:4); which include:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25)
Christ gave all His Body, Soul, and Spirit to pay the Ransom Price that redeemed us from the curse of the law. Christ did this in His Atonement, as our Substitute for our sin debt (Isaiah 53:4-6; 2 Corinthians 5:21). He redeemed us by His Blood and set us free. (See Ephesians 1:7; Galatians 3:13; 1 Peter 1:18-20; 2:24; etc.)
Christ gave His All for the redemption of His Wife, the Church; and so the husband is to give his all in drawing his wife unto himself (Ephesians 5:28-29). The man must love his wife as himself. This is proven in his nourishing and cherishing of his wife; as he washes and cleanses her with the Word (Ephesians 5:26-27). He nourishes her by feeding her the Word of God. He cherishes her by “tender love”; treating her with tender care.
When a man loves his wife as he loves himself, he will perform the duty of drawing, using Christ as his Example. This giving of himself for his wife is a total surrender to God; submission to God’s Word; obedience to God’s Word; and endurance therein to God’s Word. When a man draws his wife to consummation, it involves unselfishness, his submission to her and her to him (Ephesians 5:21). He uses honor, tenderness, respect, and consideration. He is never oppressive, but always leading her and considering her in every way. It involves the man revealing his true feeling for her. It involves lifting her up as he tells her of her beauty and of his total desire for her. It involves patience and kindness. It is a process, a progression, which fosters assurance, confidence, and liberty in his wife. It is never against her will, but in accordance with her will.
In the physical drawing of her to him, the man uses all five senses. But his main leadership to consummation is the openness of his spirit to her and the revealing of his great love for her.
Christ even said of us (His Children):
“No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.” (John 6:44)
How does the Father draw us? It is by the process of the work of regeneration; from quickening (being made alive); to working repentance in the face of the holiness of God and His law; to giving us perception of our position in the Atonement of Christ for our Redemption, Reconciliation, and Justification; to the day of birth (or full confession of Romans 10:9-10).
So it is when a man draws his wife; it is with bands (plural) of love. It is a progression. There must be a firm foundation of love before they even begin to build the house thereupon. This comes by following God’s Word from the beginning to the end.
When a man carries out Christ’s example in how He loved and loves the Church (Ephesians 5:22-30); and how He gave Himself for the Church, so as to cleanse and sanctify Her by the washing of the Word – then it is evidenced in the nourishing and cherishing of his wife.
The drawing of your wife is more, a thousand times more, than lust; it is drawing with bands of love (as Christ draws His Church). When a man follows Christ’s instructions, the results will be:
Not the negative words such as: “Not now, my head hurts.” “This is all you ever want out of me. I am just a means to the end for you.” “You treat me like a dog until you want to act like a dog, and then you start your lies” and many more.
No, it will be the positive: “We will run after thee.” “We will be glad and rejoice in thee.” “We will remember thy love.” And we will love thee up-rightly.
Men, maybe the problem is not your wife, but in how you draw your wife.