My story is not unlike thousands of other people entangled in the prison system. But I want you all to know that by the Grace of a loving God, you can and will come thru on the other side of this.
I have two sons in the prison system. One has spent most of his teen years and adult life in prison because of decisions he made… It took me a long time to let go of the guilt of him being there. But I know that God was keeping him safe, because I know he would have been killed a long time ago if it were not for the grace of God. So, in my mind, God allowed him to go to prison as a form of safety, because He knew as a mother, I would not be able to handle that.
My second son was jailed in March of 2014. He was jailed for the murder of his three-week old daughter. He was 17 years old at the time. He is now 30. This has been the longest 13 years of my life, but I pray every day that God will let my sons come home so we can be together again for one sweet day. This is my prayer daily.
Well, back to the story. It was a school day, everyone went to school. In getting ready to go to work, I check on my granddaughter before I shower. This was the moment that changed me forever. She was gone! Over the next few years, I was just going thru the motions. It took me five years to go into my son’s room and give her things away.
But I said all that to say, you don’t know how strong you are until you have to be. Now when I think about my sons, I know that God is in control. He knows what is right; and I trust his ways. He has my granddaughter in His hands. She is one of His angels! I know she is. As time goes by, I know that I’m ok by God’s Grace. This is what I want people to know; most of all, the mothers. You can make it thru your worst of times, if you keep your faith, pray a lot, and seek out people who might be carrying the same load – which is something I never had. But I’m ok most days.
That day back in 2005, I lost two of the most important people in the world to me. The news reporter said, as our lives were under the microscope, “Now two babies are gone.” So true, but I still have to say, you can come thru on the other side.
Thank you, Jesus.
I want, most of all, for people to know that no matter what, these people are not just prisoners with numbers across their back – they are sons, fathers, brothers – and they are loved by their families, no matter what.
